Big Sound Temple Read online

  Big Sound Temple

  Yesterday my father die. His age fifty seven.

  Temple pay for him to have own room at hospital. Room have two big window. One window face west.

  My father know he soon die. Ask for to be put in chair by window that face west. Because we believe when person die their soul fly west. More far than where sun set.

  Nurse help my father sit in chair. He very thin.

  My father to me say Hiro keep check on koi with no tail. He say If die get it quick out of pond. He say So it not make other fish sick. Father still think of job.

  I say Yes father.

  He take my hand for moment then say Please go. He also to nurse say Please go.

  Nurse want give him pain medicine but my father say No. Because want to meet the Buddha in right mind.

  Nurse and I leave room. We go back half hour after and father have meeten the Buddha.

  Funeral happen quick in Japan. My father brother arrange it. My uncle very rich man with the money lend business. His age forty nine I think.

  My uncle not like me. Because of what happen to his dog when I child. He try pretend everything OK but I know. What happen to dog was accident but still he blame me.

  My father one time say Hiro your uncle love dog like the wife. My father make joke. Because my uncle not marry then. But now uncle have wife and young boy.

  There is big photo of my father above white box with father body in. Lot of white flower. Priest come in and service begin. Everyone from temple come. My uncle make speech.

  Two woman who work for temple office cry. They to me after say It hard for you Hiro kun. (This like in English say I sorry for your loss.)

  Japanese tradition mean people give dead person family some money in envelope. Because funeral in Japan very expensive. So uncle get money.

  We go to place where they burn body. We wait. Then go see my father bone put on metal trolley. People use big chopstick for to put piece of bone in vase. My uncle put bone from throat that look like the Buddha in vase.

  I think this should be me but say Nothing. Because proper Japanese man should be damaru. Have to use Japanese word because not know what damaru proper mean in English. Some Japanese word hard to put in the English.

  Some funeral guest go eat meal at uncle big house. I go. I stare at fish cut for sashimi. It still alive. It mouth slow open and close.

  I think of koi with no tail. I think I check koi when I again work at temple.

  We hold glass of beer and say Kampai! For memory of father.

  Uncle get drunk quick. He get big red face. His new dog come in room.

  Uncle say Hiro be careful with my dog! He pretend joke but I know not joke. He still remember and be angry. He never forget.

  I get taxi to temple. House where I live with father behind temple. House come with job. Have to walk up mountain for little time for to get to house. Feel tire today.

  Two cigarette of my father still in ashtray in kitchen. I not want throw away. Then I think house is now mine. I temple gardener now. Before I just help father and learn. But now have good job for rest of life.

  I think how to say This to Sakura. May be now she say Yes when I ask her go out. Because one day I want have son for to give job to.

  Sakura name mean like cherry blossom. It popular name for girl in

  Japan.

  Sakura very beautiful. I not able to describe. But I try. She have long hair. Some die brown. She may be early twenty. She have very nice eye.

  But often not happy eye even when she smile.

  I think she not like job at izakaya. This popular place in Japan where person come talk eat drink. Many izakaya in Japan.

  Izakaya where Sakura work is near temple. Sometime I come here with father. Sometime on own. Sit at counter and sometime try talk to Sakura.

  But she very busy with job. Work at izakaya tough job. Alway have to be very cheerful. Alway say Hello! Say Thank you! Say Good evening! Because customer in Japan very important person.

  Not long ago I get very drunk. Because of worry for father. Not know what I do.

  I say Sakura please to go out?

  She say Come back in hundred year! (This mean no.)

  Not matter that I customer. Her boss he laugh. Other customer laugh. I very shame and pay and go.

  Next time I go same izakaya Bad Boy there. Bad Boy went same high school as me. But head teacher say Go! Because Bad Boy not good student. Like for to hit the teacher and smoke the cigarette.

  Bad Boy is the nickname. I not say Real name. Many people know the Bad Boy. He bad person.

  I walk in izakaya and Bad Boy look me and laugh. Sakura laugh too.

  Bad Boy say Look at chibi. This word mean like small child. It not nice word. I not small. I quite tall. More tall than Bad Boy.

  But I very thin and he have the big muscle. May be one day he be real gangster. They call yakuza in Japan. I not think Bad Boy yet is member of yakuza.

  I pretend not hear see Bad Boy. Sit down and ask beer and little food. Eat drink and pay and go soon. I worry that Sakura and Bad Boy go out. Think Sakura will throw away the life.

  But tonight Sakura very different. I go in izakaya and she say Good evening Hiro san. She never say My name before. She also say San. This very polite.

  I say Hello.

  She say Beer?

  She pour glass and I sit down. I confuse. She look special way at me. Never see before. She very beautiful. I not very handsome. So I think may be is dream. Pinch leg but not wake up.

  Izakaya not busy. Because is early. Two salaryman sit at table in corner. No one else. I sit at counter. I ask for yakitori. This grill chicken. Alway I eat. Very delicious.

  Two man behind Sakura cook food. Both wear white T-shirt and have towel tie around head. They say Loud word that mean welcome when someone come in.

  Sakura have dress on which advertise the Asahi beer. It colour silver. It quite tight on the body.

  I drink quick cold beer and say One more please. Then I think not for to drink too much.

  Sakura pour the beer. She say What work?

  I say What temple I work and job.

  She look surprise. She say You boss?

  I say No. I say Only person me. Because father now die I temple gardener. No other gardener.

  She say You like work?

  I say Very much. I say Own house come with job.

  I also get well pay now. But I not say This last thing. Because it sound like the boast.

  Sakura look around for to check no one else hear. She say What you do Friday evening?

  I very surprise. I say Nothing plan.

  She say Please come karaoke. She say If you can.

  I say Yes. I say I can. I say Please.

  She look happy. I happy.

  More customer come in and she say We meet Friday. She say Outside

  Lady First at eight thirty clock. She say You know Lady First?

  I say I know. It karaoke bar near hundred stone stair that go up to temple.

  Sakura take other customer order and I finish eat drink and go.

  Chinese people in very old time believe koi swim up river all way to heaven. At heaven they become dragon. Each year in Japan 5 May we have Children Day. There lot of flag shape like the koi.

  When I boy my father take me see some flag near temple. He point up his finger and say Hiro you must be like koi!

  I say I not able to swim.

  Father pretend hit back of my head and say Baka! (Baka mean like idiot.) My father say Koi struggle all life but not give up. He say So be like koi.

  Big white bird take tail from one koi in temple pond. Big white bird come down and attack the koi. My father see before priest make him go hospital.

  Koi still alive. I check. It still able
to swim with no tail. Have about three quarter of body still. Koi not give up.

  Each morning I feed all koi small green ball that smell like fish. I make for sure koi with no tail get some green ball.

  We call priest wife Okaasan. This word mean like mother. Okaasan see koi with no tail and say Hiro kun do you think it OK?

  I say Yes. But I not know. I guess OK. Because it still live. If dead then not OK.

  Okaasan like sit by pond sometime and read. For relax time. She like koi very much. Okaasan say Hiro kun OK? She mean because my father die.

  I say Yes.

  Then I go cut grass outside temple hall. I see priest.

  Priest also say Hiro san OK?

  I say Yes.

  Priest not look OK. Look tire and stress all time. I think I know reason for this. But reason is private temple business.

  My father ash put in family tomb. Family tomb is at temple where I work. Many hundred tomb all around temple and up mountain. Of course also around my house.

  Sometime my father scare when walk back in dark. He not say. But I know. Because he soft say I put trust in the Amida Buddha. He say This many time. Because our temple is of the Pure Land. Believe if say I put trust in the Amida Buddha many time in life then can go to his Pure Land when die. No more suffer in this world.

  So I say I put trust in the Amida Buddha because want for to go to Pure Land. But not because I scare of dark or tomb.

  Monk come for to give service at my family tomb. I think should be priest but may be priest busy. Monk name is Yamashita san. He may be soon be sixty. He alway smoke. Even when ride his scooter. He kind man. Alway happy.

  Yamashita san before say Hiro kun to me. But now my father dead and I temple gardener he more say Hiro san. Two woman in temple office and Okaasan sometime still say Hiro kun to me. Because kun show affection.

  But if visitor to temple near everyone who work at temple say Matsumoto san. Because Matsumoto my family name. Japanese respect language sometime difficult even for Japanese person.

  My uncle also come to service. He stand by tomb with head bow. Also two of my father friend. They sometime go catch the fish with my father.

  I use metal bar for to move big heavy stone which cover hole in ground by tomb. I use small ladder. Because have to put jar of ash under ground.

  Small room in earth under tomb. Some shelf for jar of ash. So why in rain season have to check under tomb not flood. Make sure all water route down from mountain not block. My father say This thing to me many time.

  I put my father jar of ash next to his father jar of ash. My grandfather father also have his ash here. He was big man so he have the two jar.

  It short service. I and uncle and father friend say Thank you to Yamashita san. He go. My uncle and father friend go. I go to temple hall for to put out chair for tomorrow morning service.

  In corner of hall is big white elephant on wheel. It cover in old balloon. On 8 April it the Buddha birthday. People from temple push white elephant in to town. (There is steep narrow slope on one side of temple that lead to small car park that is outside temple hall. White elephant is careful push down this slope and not hundred stone stair.)

  Because white elephant come to the Buddha mother and say You are pregnant with the Buddha.

  I remember my father seem very tire that day. Soon after he get very sick.

  Yamashita san come in hall. Say Hiro san OK?

  I say Yes. Because Japanese man should never say No.

  Every Wednesday evening seven thirty clock I have English lesson. Because I want one day very much for to go London. To see where England queen live and eat the proper English fry breakfast.

  My English teacher American woman call Wendy Williams. From New York City. I also want go NYC some time.

  Wendy say Not call her sensei (this mean like teacher) or san. She say Just call me Wendy. She also just call me Hiro. I not mind.

  She quite big woman. May be forty. She use lot of perfume. Lot of blonde hair which I think she die. She live in Japan some year but not able to speak Japanese much good. Many foreign person like this. Because Japanese language very difficult.

  I think sometime I smell strange sweet smell when she talk. When strange smell she also say Honey to me sometime. I think I know what sweet smell is. But this OK. She good English teacher. She teach me lot.

  Her apartment may be fifteen minute walk from my house. She open her door and say Hi Hiro. She say Come on in honey.

  I smell the sweet smell I think. Wendy look little bit happy but also little bit tire.

  She have very big cat. She have very nice apartment. Very clean. She live on own. She like Japanese art very much. Lot of Japanese style painting on wall.

  She teach English in her kitchen. Because it have big table with all her book on it.

  Wendy say How thing honey?

  I not understand question. I say Sorry. I say Please repeat.

  She say How are you?

  I say Fine. I say Thank you.

  She say Any thing new in your life?

  Wendy sometime ask strange question like this. But sometime I understand what she mean.

  I say My father die.

  Her eye go little wide. She put her hand on top my hand over kitchen table for moment. She wear lot of bracelet on wrist which make noise together. She blow out sweet breath.

  She say Oh Hiro I very sorry.

  I say It OK.

  She say When?

  I tell her.

  She say You OK?

  I say Yes.

  Then she give me strange look she sometime give. I think like how mother sometime look at child. This also strange thing to say But. I not able to think other way for to describe.

  She hold hand in air and blow sweet breath. She say Well and make word last quite long time.

  I say I write something in English. I say Please look.

  I give Wendy what I write about my father ash. I mean when I put father ash in family tomb. I write other thing for English write practise but only show this.

  She read it for minute. She nod sometime and give small smile.

  She finish read. She say Well that teach me something. She say I must learn more about that white elephant.

  I say Please how English?

  She say Hiro honey it need some work. She say But good effort. She say I like descript of monk who smoke.

  She say Tell me some more about your job.

  I explain now father die I temple gardener. But also often assist inside temple.

  Wendy say So you have green finger.

  She laugh and make sudden noise which I know is call the hic cup. I not understand.

  I say Finger very clean. I say I alway wash hand after work.

  Wendy explain that English speak people say Person have green finger if good at garden work. Because alway touch the plant.

  I nod head and say OK. But not really understand.

  Wendy say Do every temple have the person like you?

  I say No.

  Because only temple where I work have the full time gardener who also do work inside temple. All other temple in Oteramachi use outside person. (Oteramachi mean like temple town. But if go there is just road with seven temple).

  Person come in sometime for to work. Like garden business. May be other temple in other part of city have full time person like me. But I not know. I proud of special job.

  I say All this to Wendy.

  She look interest. She look at my eye long time.

  She say So you like janitor?

  I not know word janitor. She explain.

  I say Yes. I say I temple janitor. That is correct. Not just do garden work. Every time I come Wendy lesson I learn lot. Hour pass very quick.

  When lesson over I pay. Wendy lesson not expensive like some foreign teacher.

  She walk with me to door. She say You live in house with father?

  I say Yes. I say But now father die I on own.

  She say Must be very lonely for you. She say
I know how that feel. There is silence. She look little sad.

  She say One moment please. She go back to kitchen.

  She come back with plate cover with silver paper that have be in fridge. She say I make seafood pasta early. She say Please take some for dinner.

  I very embarrass. I say I OK. I say Please keep.

  She shake head and hold plate to me. She say Hiro honey not be stupid.

  I not know what to say. I say Thank you very much.

  She give me strange look again. She open door.

  She say See you next time Hiro. She say Take care honey.

  Sakura is half hour late for to meet me outside karaoke bar call Lady First.

  I think to go when she sudden come. She have two friend with her. She say Their name to me but I soon forget. I wish Sakura come on own. Also she not say Sorry because thirty minute late. But she look very beautiful tonight. Is OK.

  I pay for four of us to have two hour in sing room. We can order many drink as want in this two hour. Is all include in price.

  We get to room and Sakura order strong alcohol drink for her and two friend.

  She say What you want drink to me.

  I say Beer please.

  Sakura and friend sing song I not know. By young Japanese woman. Video show many woman in swimming costume dance on beach.

  I feel bad to say But. Sakura and friend not good singer. I soon get very head ache. They choose other song which all sound same. They sing very loud and not in good tune. But I try to look interest and if feel fun. I get more drink because Sakura and friend fast finish their drink.

  Sakura say What you want sing to me.

  I say Eric Clapton song. Because remind me of my father. He like Eric Clapton very much. I also like Eric Clapton very much.

  So I choose Layla. Very famous song. But when name of song and artist come on screen is not correct. It say Layra by Elic Crapton. This sometime happen with the foreign word in Japan.

  Video show man and woman argue in big house. Woman look out of window and cry. She hold rose in hand. Man walk along empty road with hand in pocket and look angry. He kick the stone. But at end they lover again.

  I try sing but I also not good. Sakura friend giggle and whisper in each other ear. But Sakura clap me when I finish and say You very good Hiro.